So, much earlier today (yesterday?) my not-boyfriend broke up with me. I still am not quite sure how I feel about this. Usually when something like this happens, I'm immediately devastated: either I wallow in my own self pity for days, or I am so angry I can't think straight. The fact that I'm not sure how I feel is kind of weirding me out, and the most disturbing part is that I don't feel either of my normal emotions. I simply can't decide whether I'm disappointed or relieved. On the one hand, I feel slightly like a child whose favorite toy just broke. On the other hand, I feel like the batteries finally ran out in that annoying clock that ticks at you while you're trying to concentrate. But, overall, I would have to say I'm just apathetic.
I realize that none of these are really acceptable ways to feel when your boyfriend breaks up with you. However, what are the socially acceptable ways to feel when your not-boyfriend breaks up with you? It seems disrespectful to not feel something when another human being says they'd prefer never to see you again. I mean, even if it's someone you hate, you at least feel strongly about it when it happens. But to feel nothing? To completely brush it aside? It's like hitting an all-time low. To not care feels so... inhuman...
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